Fall For My Scam! Quick!

Notice the usual telltale signs: the check is made out to me but I have to send my name, the form was filled in by computer and they didn't have my name, it involves me doing something (generally sending money) for a check that I have no business getting and which I probably would never see (and if I did it would bounce). And notice the bad english:

Hello Dear,
I have Paid the fee for your Cheque Draft.but the manager of Eko Bank Benin told me that before the check will get
to you that it will expire.So i told him to cash $950,000.00 all the necessary arrangement of delivering the
$950,000.00 in cash was made with GLOBAL MAX COURIER COMPANY.
This in the information they need to delivery your package to you.
DR,Anthony Robert(+22993812182.)
EMAIL:(gm_couriercompany204@yahoo.fr)
1.YOUR FULL NAME
2.YOUR HOME ADDRESS.
3.YOUR CURRENT TELEPHONE NUMBER.
5.A COPY OF YOUR PICTURE
Please make sure you send this needed info's to the Director general of GLOBAL MAX COURIER COMPANY

DR,ANTHONY ROBERT with the address given to you.
Note.GLOBAL MAX COURIER COMPANY don't know the contents of the Box. I registered it as a BOX of an Africa cloths.
They don't know it contents money. this is to avoid them delaying with the BOX. don't let them know that is money
that is in that Box.
Sincerely
Mr.Emma Agu.

Total To Date: $168,920,000

The E-Mail Lottery.

COVENTRY PROMOTIONS
National Office,
157-197 Buckingham Palace Road,
Victoria, London SW1W 9SP
Serial Number: 652-662
Batch number AT-040SB06-07.

TO WINNERS IN OUR PROGRAM

We wish to congratulate you over your success in our computer balloting sweepstake held on Saturday 8th December 2007 This is a millennium scientific computer game in which email addresses were used. It is a promotional program aimed at encouraging internet users; therefore you do not need to buy ticket to enter for the game.

However, your email address was attached to ticket number 021-33600041;with serial number 652-662 draw the lucky numbers 83-14-11-21-69-92-57,which eventually won the lottery in the first category of the draws.

Therefore, you have won a lottery jackpot prize awards of £2,000,000.00 (Two million pounds Sterling Only) This is from total prize money of US$30,000,000.00 distributed to winners from 1st to 3rd categories.

Note that this program was largely promoted and sponsored by a group of philanthropist, industrialists from the internet ware industry and some other big multinational firms who wish to be anonymous.

You may wish to establish contact via e-mail with the particulars presented below citing the batch and reference numbers to this letter.
Telephone lines are open between the hours of 8.00am - 7.30pm on Monday through Friday.

Customer Service Unit,
Tel no: +44-7024080148
Fax No: +44-870-135-2454
Email:paycv@aol.com
Contact person: MR. DANIEL WALLACE

Our winners are assured of the utmost standards of confidentiality, and press anonymity until the end of proceedings, and beyond where they so desire. Be further advised to maintain the strictest level of confidentiality until the end of proceedings to circumvent problems associated with fraudulent cliams.

Naturally, with the number in England and me in California, am I going to (a) call the number (which may very well be real) or (b) use the e-mail address (which is fraudulent)?

If I'm stupid enough to fall for the scam, of course I'm stupid enough to do the time zone conversion and make the phone call...

Total To Date: $167,970,000

Didn't you know? Microsoft uses Yahoo! Mail

DEAR WINNER:NOTIFICATION FROM THE MANAGEMENT'S DESK
this is to inform you that your email has won the consulation prize of
£1000,000.00 in the microsoft uk end of year draws.please contact your
agent with this your Ref#:BTD/968/07,Batch #: 409978E numbers
respectively.
Forward your claims to
Jim Walters
E-mail:microsoft_representatives_agent@yahoo.dk

A U.K. division of Microsoft holds a lottery, so they use a Yahoo! mail server in Denmark?

Total To Date: $163,915,000

When everyone has a lottery, everyone wins!

Microsoft Lottery
Incoporation
Baley House, Har Road
Sutton, Greater London
SM1 4te
United Kingdom.
This is to inform you that you have won a prize money of Five Hundredthousand, Great Britain
Pound Sterlings(£500,000.00) for the month of December 2007 Lottery promotion which is organized
by MICROSOFT LOTTERYINC & WINDOWS LIVE.
YOUR WINNING NUMBER
Batch number.....................YM 09102XN
Reff number.......................YM35447XN
Winning number...................YM09788
(CONTACT PAYMENT MANAGER) To redeem your prize
Name:Mr James Bradley
Email: promo_agent_james3@yahoo.se
Thank you and Accept my hearty congratulations once again!
Yours faithfully,
Mr. Joseph Grant
(Yahoo/Msn Lottery Games/Lottery Coordinator)

The funny part is that I don't use Microsoft Windows.

And I also work for Yahoo!, which is always spelled Yahoo! (with the exclamation point), and which doesn't run a lottery.

Total To Date: $163,715,000

Work: None. Reward: Lots. Feasting on the stupid: priceless.

My Dear Friend,

You might find it so difficult to remember me. Though, it is
indeed, a very long time. On my singular, I am much delighted and
privileged to contact you again, after couple of years now. It takes
fate, courage and God's fearing to remember old friends and at the same
time, to show gratification to them, despite circumstances that made
things, not worked out as we projected then.

I take this liberty to inform you that, the transaction we were
pursing together, finally worked out by God's infinite mercy and I
decided to contact you, just to let you know. You are advised to stop
any further communication with your local representative(s) any
officials (s) department whom may call you or email concerning the
check draft what sum of €1,000.000.00, accept DR. Benjamin KEREKU
Chief Accountant ING BANK Benin Republic

Your are advise not to accept any fax or telephone calls that does
not come from him Because he is the only person I left the order how to
deliver the check draft to you, and you may call him immediately you
received this message for more information through the instruction I
left, I have conscience as a human being, due to your tremendous
effort and contribution to make things work out in retrospect.

Meanwhile, I must inform you that, I am presently in Japan , for
numerous business negotiations and establishment.

I just arrived yesterday night and checked inn, in a hotel and decided
to go down to the hotel business centre to mail you. Now, with my
sincere heart, I have raised and signed an International Cashier's Bank
Draft, to the Sum of €1.000.000.00 (ONE MILLION EURO) only in your
name
as a COMPENSATION to your dedication, humanity and contribution, as it
were.

Contact him now, his Name is DR. Benjamin KEREKU (Chief accountant ING
Bank Benin Republic ) on his E-mail: drbenjaminkereku_80@yahoo.fr
You are to forward to him, the following
1. YOUR FULL NAME & ADDRESS
2. YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER

He will advise you further about the shipment of the ICBD to your
Residence Address or Office Address you may provide. Feel free to
reach him via this very mail address: drbenjaminkereku_80@yahoo.fr
Most importantly, the ICBD has only validity period of 60 banking
days. So, your early response to that effect, shall be admired. You
have to mind the days on route shipment.

Sincerely Yours,
Dr JOSHUA TAYLOR

"You might find it so difficult to remember me." You think?

Though I find it interesting that this spam message contains a bunch of language idioms which make it sound like it was a direct translation from the guy's original language.

And of course I get this cash reward because of my "tremendous effort", which thus far has been zero...

Total To Date: $162,700,000

Most brazen claim yet.

Usually the amounts that spammers try to attract me with are smallish: hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars. But the way these scams work, you give up a percentage of the amount you are going to "get" in order to help "expedite" the process. (Of course what really happens is that percentage goes into someone else's pocket and you get, well, not a damned thing except perhaps the realization you were taken by a scam artist.)

But these amounts limit the amount the scammer can get from you. For example, if a scammer claims you will get a million dollars, they're going to be lucky to get more than maybe 1% out of you ($10,000) before raising suspicions. (Though if you really are that fucking stupid enough, pardon my french, to fall for such a scam in the first place, they probably will get $50,000 or even $100,000 out of you before you stop throwing money away.)

But now if you ask for a hundred million, then 1% is a million dollars--you're on the hook for the long term.

And this scammer just offered that amount:

Good Day,

I am a Fund Manager with Fidelity Investment UK and I handle all our
Investor's Capital Project Funds that enables me to divert 1.2% Investors
Excess Return Capital Funds to our Magellan Trust Funds Account whereby
anyone can be presented to claim the funds.

On this note, the total sum of £54.745M (Fifty Four Million, Seven Hundred
and Forty Five Thousand British Pounds) has been diverted representing the
1.2% Excess Return Capital Funds from the Investor Capital Project Funds
for 2005/2006.I need a reliable and trustworthy person that can work
this deal out with me so that we can claim the funds as mentioned above.
There is no risk attached and the funds in question can never be dictated
or traced.

Our sharing ratio will be discussed as soon as I receive your response. If
you are interested, get back to me for more details about the deal.


Mr.Tim McCarron.

I mean, talk about having a pair of balls with this one:

(1) I've created a fund that diverts 1.2% of the excess from an investment fund, and I need your help stealing it, and
(2) It's a shitload of money.

If someone ever fell for this hook, they're in for a very long, expensive, and ultimately destructive ride!

Note that this guy just offered me more money than the spams I've received to date!
Total To Date: $161,250,000

You Have Mail!

Hello Dear,
I have Paid the fee for your Cheque Draft.but the manager of Eko Bank Benin
told me that before the check will get
to you that it will expire.So i told him to cash $950,000.00 all the necessary
arrangement of delivering the
$950,000.00 in cash was made with GLOBAL MAX COURIER COMPANY.
This in the information they need to delivery your package to you.
DR,Anthony Robert(+22993812182)
EMAIL:(gm_couriercompany204@yahoo.fr)
1.YOUR FULL NAME
2.YOUR HOME ADDRESS.
3.YOUR CURRENT TELEPHONE NUMBER.
5.A COPY OF YOUR PICTURE
Please make sure you send this needed info's to the Director general of
GLOBAL MAX COURIER COMPANY

DR,ANTHONY ROBERT with the address given to you.
Note.GLOBAL MAX COURIER COMPANY don't know the contents of the Box. I registered
it as a BOX of an Africa cloths.
They don't know it contents money. this is to avoid them delaying with the
BOX. don't let them know that is money
that is in that Box.
Sincerely
Mr.Emma Agu

Note the fun aspects of this e-mail: the blank after "Dear" in "Hello Dear,", which tells me the form didn't have my name in it. Also, even though this is a personal check that is supposed to be delivered to me, they don't know who I am, as usual. Go figure.

And note in the end that we're smuggling money: "don't let them know that is money that is in that Box."

Total To Date: $49,450,000 and some "Africa cloths"